15 September 2014

The End-All Choice for Moms (Hint: It's not school.)

A year ago, I might have told you that the most important decision I was to make as a mom was how to educate my kids.

For months, I researched homeschooling (and did it with my two preschoolers) while looking at all the other options out there, multiplied by us being overseas:

Public school
Private school
International school
Christian school
Korean school (preschool and/or tutoring)
Boarding school

And as I narrowed down my choice and felt a peace about what to do with my own kids, I started to feel a peace about my parenting too. After all, once this choice was made--and made correctly!--my children would be on the right path toward success. 

Except--I was wrong. 

Schooling is not the end-all choice for moms. It's an important choice, but not the most important choice. 

You see, I figured that if I homeschooled, my kids would get the one-on-one interaction they needed and the Bible basis necessary for spiritual foundation. Or, if I sent them to a Christian school, my kids would be exposed to a Biblical worldview. Or, even if I sent them to a Korean school, they would be equipped to face challenges in our host country. 

And while these are all good things, they are forgetting the most important choice for moms--to be present, engaged, and earnestly involved in their development. 

Can my children benefit from a certain school choice? Of course. But if I'm not choosing to be active in their lives, I've lost the greatest influence possible.

I could homeschool my children but still neglect them.
On the other hand, I could send my children to school but still teach them.

The job of "mom" is not reduced (or increased!) when kids begin school. We are moms regardless of how they learn. Our role is to be their primary teacher--so much more than a caretaker, lunch maker, or clothes washer. We teach them values, morals, standards. We show them how to live, how to converse, how to forgive, how to be kind, how to pray. We sit with them, look in their eyes, and call them our own. We make time--no matter the cost--to be present in their lives.

And if we delegate or dismiss this role, the schooling choice we've made is inconsequential. What matters so much more is how dedicated and intentionally near we are.

The end-all choice for moms is not school. It's home--the home we make for them in our embrace. It's bringing our little ones close to our heartbeats and loving them fiercely. It's sitting with them, listening to their ranting narrations with undivided attention. It's being the hands that wipe tears away after a long day, and it's being the voice of consolation, advice, and love.

No matter what kind of schooling we choose for our kids, let's make the best choice for them as moms--and journey beside them all the way.

Abide in Him,

Please share: What are some ways we moms can support each other in our roles and not attack schooling choices? Also, how can we work with our children's schooling to best guide them "in the way [they] should go"?

Related articles you may also appreciate:
Holding while Withholding
Motherhood and the Blessing of Sight
Defining Home and Heaven
"I'm Too Busy" (A Lie)


  1. The principle of being involved with the children's lives is paramount to their character and wellbeing, as you said, no matter where or how they are schooled. It is the day-to-day interactions, the little moments adding up that are impressed upon the child, forming his perspective and building his trust, confidence, and will. Involvement of parents is a catalyst for the child's capacity and potential for learning.

    1. Well said! I like your last point especially--that our involvement as parents directly affects how our children learn.

  2. I love this and it is so true. I need reminding of it far too often! But I'm always thankful to be brought back to this most important perspective. Thanks for posting it at the Mom 2 Mom Monday Link-Up!

  3. Thanks for this encouraging post! Perfect for a mom who has decided with her husband to send her older two kids to school at this point, which sometimes gets a bad rap from homeschooling moms ;) Featuring you at Mom2Mom this week!


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