31 May 2014

Deep Friendships Are Worth Hard Goodbyes

Dear friend,

We've lived side by side for five years.

We've stood together in my kitchen, each with a baby on our hips, talking while making lunch.
We've corralled our kids in grocery stores, making the trip together so it didn't seem so painful.
We've sat in coffee shops at 10pm because that was the only time we could talk uninterrupted.
We've exchanged travel advice, birthing advice, and parenting advice.
We've talked through our language challenges, spiritual battles, and hormonal wars.

We've grown as women,
as wives,
as mothers,
as expats,
as Christians,
as friends.

Who would've expected such depth in five years? It's what happens when all we have is each other, miles from family and familiarity. When we're surrounded by culture clashes and foreign senses, I could look across the chaos and see commiseration in your eyes . . . and hear encouragement in your voice.

Thank you.

Thank you for going deep with me even though we always knew one of us might move away at any time.

Thank you for sharing life with me--a crazy blend of cultures and a wonderful mesh of worlds.

Thank you for being my family when I needed support, when I needed a meal, when I needed a babysitter.

Thank you for being honest: brutally truthful. Thank you for being kind: awkwardly generous.

Thank you for making time, for not being "too busy" for a friend.

So as you go, and as we face this hard goodbye, please know that it was worth it. Please go knowing that you have changed hearts here, for as we grew together, I've been shaped into a better person. So much of that redirection happened because we lived side by side, continuously knocking each other back onto the right path or picking each other up from falls. These years cannot be replaced, so you never will be either. 

Go and make a new home. Make new friends. Begin again. 

And I will stay and make new friends. And begin again.

But replacing you? That's ridiculous. Forgetting you? That's absurd.

I will miss you, but the depth of our friendship is there--giving still.
I will miss you, but the right path we walked together is there--going still.
I will miss you, but I know you are there--loving still . . .

. . . loving me from a distance and loving others up close. And I am proud of the goodness you will bring to your new friends; I want to tell them, "That's my friend you've got there. She's a good one. You're blessed!"

Because as hard as this goodbye is, it is worth every second of our friendship.


Related articles you may also appreciate:
On Storage and an Uninhibited Start
Flying with Young Children
"I'm Too Busy" (A Lie)


  1. Thanks Malia, for finding the words to express our hearts. ♡

  2. oh, this is so beautiful! " as we face this hard goodbye, please know that it was worth it." Yes. I'm sharing this with some of my friends....


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